Discordianism
by Tusk Act IV
Summary: For hearts to be this close to each other had to mean something. There should be a reason for the gaps in their hearts to be so interwoven, as if they all had agreed to share each others' burdens, each others' love, since the day they were born. Or in which The Capturing God accepts a tutoring job.


**Disclaimer: I own neither the series nor the characters.**

* * *

There were few moments when Katsuragi Keima would admit he was wrong.

It was to the point that he could already count his own self-admitted mistakes in one hand. As the Capturing God, the one who was the best at making girls (for games) fall in love with him, error outside his domain. Those were for the mortal who were part of the real.

Yet it was at this moment, on the first day of the new term, where Katsuragi Keima admitted to himself how wrong he had been. Few months ago, he had though summer was the best time for gaming, his promised land and yet numerous obstacles had blocked him short.

It was only when he had returned to the undisturbance that was school that he would admit that God may have made a mistake. This was because, comapared to summer, he could actually play his games undisturbed during class!

Sure, some said he wasn't supposed to but his perfect grades said otherwise. He even got a perfect in every return test the teacher's had thrown at him. Not even that bug demon could disturb him at class! He could take a few hits to the head from his teachers as long as it meant that he could continue his conquests!

He was in such a good mood that he was even at the cafeteria, creeping out everyone around him. All the other students were backing away from the otamega's creepy chuckles as he wore that headset of his that disclosed him out of the real. No matter, it was one of the the best spots for wi-fi so it would have to do. It was even better that everyone had left him alone with his latest target!

The girl in front of him was a recent release he wanted to have finished by the end of the day, Twin Twin Paradise Paradise. The game's main selling point was that the heroines came in pairs. The routes weren't for individual twins, unlike in other games, but for the pairs themselves. Keima found the whole gimmick fairly absurd. A hero should only aim for one heroine at a time. Even the harem route was usually unlocked only after pursuing multiple heroines.

From what he's played so far, it was fairly generic outside of the routes. In his opinion, if they combined the twins together, perhaps they could be given more depth. Or even perhaps double the routes and endings to increase the replayability.

Well, either way, he'd capture them all.

Keima was so entranced that he barely noticed the small rattle of his table as something was set on it. He actually paused his game. No one would normally associate with him so it could only be one person.

With a rebuke already on his lips, Keima lifted his headset to ready to tell a certain little devil to leave him alone only to see someone he didn't know.

Long red hair with starclips with a large cowlick topped her head. What Keima immediately noticed was her school uniform. It was clearly not his school's. In from of her lay a tray of food, with one bowl filled to the brim with fried toppings.

Just from that he could already tell. She was a transfer student from a previous high school which meant she was in either second or third year. The large amount of food spoke of not just her inexperience with the set menus but willing to try what looked good.

This all meant one thing: He could ignore her.

However, deep blue eyes had already met his own. Her face scrunched up, looking ready to fight.

"Um, there are no other tables available so I'm eating here."

It was a declaration more to herself than to Keima. As if, that was that and her she'd go through it till the bitter end. She didn't ask, no doubt to immiately instill a sense of authority over him and that the ball was in his court now.

However, Katsuragi Keima wasn't just anyone. He was God, someone outside of the influence of mortals. Something like a fight was beneath him yet he wouldn't dare leave. The event was starting soon and he needed to be online to finish it. His captures in the gaming world were more important than this girl.

Thankfully, his reputation preceeded him.

Immediately, there were whispers all around the filled cafeteria. That he, the otamega, was eating with a girl. It was part shock, part warning, and part in jest. The redhead immediately overheard the non-whispers which caused her face to blush deep red yet she remained steadfast on her seat.

Stubbornly, she clasped both hands together, a standard prayer before eating. She sued her chopsticks to pick up a fried shrimp. She looked up only to see her tablemate had put his visor back on, completely ignoring her as her continued to play on his device.

Nakano Itsuki frowned. On one hand, it was annoying how this guy was ignoring her yet, in the end, he was letting her use the table. Her rather decent food couldn't bury away the annoyance she had of him.

Since he was right in front of her, she had a front row view to this guy blatantly ignoring everyone around him as he played his games. As someone who had...difficulties studying yet tried her best at it, someone playing games at school irked her to no end.

Worse was when she overheard all that was said about him. It was now obvious why he had been given such a wide berth from everyone else at the cafeteria. Apparently, this person even played games in non-stop in classes to the point where he'd fully ignore his teachers!

How rude! How inexcusable!

Nakano Itsuki would always be on the side of the teachers and would never forgive someone who went out of their way to make their jobs difficuly.

She chewed her food angrily, glaring at the boy who clearly couldn't see her over his headset. While she wouldn't normally dislike a person without getting to know how they were first, his actions in front of her seemed proof enough of all the rumors swirling around him.

Opening her pudding, Itsuki noticed a bunch of strewn papers in front of the boy. Those were the only things in front of him and yet he was taking up a whole table for himself! He wasn't even eating!

One quick glance and they looked to be tests. She couldn't see them from afar due to her eyesight but she already knew she wanted to peek at them. From how hated he seemed to be by the teachers, she was sure they'd be as awful as people said he was.

Feeling the need for some intant gratification and seeing as he was still ignoring her, Itsuki swiped the papers in her hand, a smirk already forming on her mouth. "Let's see just how much you got..."

The first thing she read was his name, Katsuragi Keima. Everyone else had called him Otamega that she had momentraily thought that was his actual name.

It was then she saw the score.

Her face blanked as she the numerous 100's. Every test had been marked as perfect, with not one having a single mistake.

"Are you done?"

Itsuki almost jumped out of her seat when she heard a voice. She looked up from the test papers to see a cold gaze. The boy, Keima, had finally raised his headset to send a look that sent shivers down Itsuki's spine. His eyes were almost robotic, inhuman.

"Ah...I..." Flustered she had been caught, Itsuki tried to think of something to say but before she could the boy had stood up from his seat. His gaze went down, not to her but on the screen of the console in his hands.

It was then the redhead realized that he hadn't been talking to her but to the game in front of him.

The moment he was about to leave, Itsuki finally found her mouth working as she held up one hand holding his tests. "W-wait a second! What about-"

Katsuragi Keima ignored her as he moved out of his chair which showed just how much he cared about the papers in her hands. To him, it seemed like Itsuki and the test papers were the same, both things not worth giving even a second of attention for.

She wanted to follow him but the moment he walked away from the table he had practically disappeared. Also, she had to finish her pudding and clean up after herself.

Sitting back down with her gaze going back to the perfect scores on the tests, she took a bite of her pudding.

It was unsurprisingly bitter.

She swore to steer herself clear of this weirdo for the rest of her school days.

**LINE**

* * *

"My name is Nakano Itsuki. A pleasure to meet you all."

And, of course, she was in the same class as him. The initial nervousness of introducing herself to a class was swept away with irritation when she saw the boy at the center of the class.

Just as everyone said, he was still playing his games even though classes had already begun, clearly ignoring, no, not caring about her introduction.

As the teacher pointed her to an empty seat, Itsuki passed by the boy, briefly confirming that, yes, he was actually playing a game (a weird anime one at that). He didn't even look up as she passed, her whole presence ignored for the girl in the screen.

Itsuki hmphed as she passed him and she didn't have to look back to see that she was ignored.

Right as she sat down, there was an odd ringing sound of a dark haired girl nearby. Her skill shaped accessory was ringing and the girl had one hand over it, trying to soften the ' Doro Doro Doro' that came from it.

It was so startling that it got Katsuragi Keima to stop playing and send a look of disbelief at the ponytailed girl. Eventually, she got it to stop although she then sent curious glances at Itsuki much like everyone else at the class.

Shrugging to herself, Itsuki took her seat, hoping her new life at this high school wouldn't be too bad and that she'd be able to get her grades up.

God only knows she didn't need any further excitement in her life.

* * *

**LINE**

* * *

"I already told you no!"

"But Kami-niisama...!"

Elsie looked up at her Exalted brother with teary eyes that wouldhave moved even the strictest demons in hell and yet Keima didn't budge. He hadn't looked up from his PFP the moment they got back to the Cafe and even during dinner.

For the first time in the conversation, Keima turned to Elsie, his eyes glaring. "Can you or can you not cofirm that the transfer student has a Weiss in her?"

Elsie pouted, twisting her hageromono in her hands. She looked down on the floor teary. "Well, it reacted to her but for some reason it's not working any more! And when I tried later in class, it showed different locations!"

Indeed, while Nakano Itsuki had triggered the alarm, the Weiss that had been tagged had continously shifted positions putting into question if the transfer student was the holder of the Weiss in the first place. It was to the point that the alarm didn't even react to the redhead anymore.

"Well, when you can get me an actual target, then that's when I'm going to bother." decided Keima, going back to immersing himself into his games much to Elsie's complaints.

But before Elsie could bug him even further, the matron of the house, Katsuragi Mari stepped back into the dining room, a phone on her hand.

"Ne Keima. You're the best student of your year, right?"

It was more like the whole school but Elsie was the one who answered an affirmative to Marie whose face lit up.

"Then you wouldn't mind being a tutor for a friend?"

"A friend?" Elsie cocked her head to the side as Keima continued to ignore the both of them.

"Yup. I knew him back from my...youthful past and he's heard about Keima-kun being the top student. He wants to hire you as a tutor."

"Ah! Kami-niisama would be amazing at that!" Elsie clapped her hands. "He was able to get my friends perfect scores on the tests as well!'

"Really?" Mari blinked, surprised that her son had actually went out of his way to help someone or perhaps even just listen to Elsie's plea. "Then what about it, Keima?"

"I'll do it."

"Look, he's a close friend so I really want to-What?" Mari paused mid-lecture, fully expecting resistence from her son. Instead, Keima was actually looking up from his PFP, his eyes clear.

"I said I'll do it."

"R-really?"

"Yes." Keima readjusted his glasses. "Tell Nakano-san to send me the details through email. I'm sure you still have it, mother."

"Thanks, Keima!" Mari practically jumped on her son as she glomped him in a quick tight hug before leaving the room. Not just that Keima had so easily agreed but that this was a chance for her withdrawn son to interact with others more that he wasn't shying away from!

She was so excited that she hadn't even thought about why Keima knew her friend's name.

Back with Elsie, she was looking at her brother as she normally did, unsure and confused but unquestioning. "Um, Kami-niisama? What about..."

"Don't worry about Nakano Itsuki, Elsie." Keima's head was held high as a knowing grin grew on his face, the lens of his glasses shining brightly. "Whether she has a Weiss or not, I have already seen the ending. This will be done as soon as possible."

"I don't really get it but...amazing as usual, Kaimi-niisama!" Elsie clapped, happy that Keima at least seemed to want to capture the spirit. "What are we going to do?"

"I'm just going to tutor her"

"That's it?"

"As simple as that."

Keima thougth back to his first "meeting" with the girl. What he immediately gathered was that first the girl was rich. She had not just bought an expesive meal but had bought numerous other add-ons she had deemed she wanted to try.

With the way she had tried to validate herself from looking at his papers and her own stunned look when she saw his scores, she took her grades seriously and had most likely transferred to Maijima high due to flunking out of her previous school. Maijima high was prestigious but also a "rich kids" school with a passing score of 35 out of 100 points, higher than most.

This was further confirmed during the rest of the class he had spent with her. He had started observing her after the sensor went off and she had spent it alternating sending glares at him for ignoring the teachers while desperately trying to keep up with the lecture. She seemed as lost as Elsie was which only further cemented his guess.

His mother had provided the final hint, a father who would hire the best student of the school to tutor his daughter the night they transferred in. Clearly, someone who wanted his daughter to succeed in life and be the best at it which was why being the top student was a required flag.

Basically, he just had to get her grades up to get her ending. If she really was the rich type, then perhaps she was feeling conflict over failed expectations from her family. Becoming her personal tutor that would help her prove herself made things much easier.

It had taken circumstances that even he hadn't expected such as leaving such an impression on her plus already being the best student of the school but Keima would take what he could get.

"Such a simple ending." Keima leaned back as was already going over his mental databse of games that had endings like that. The ending was so common that it was impossible to narrow it down to even fifty games.

He should really replay those but first...

He looked back down on his PFP, the next choice of the game asking him if he could guess which twin was the girl in front of him.

"Simple indeed."

He smirked and chose the top answer.

**LINE**

* * *

Keima frowned. It seemed this wasn't as simple as he thought it'd be.

He had decided to formally introduce himself to Nakano Itsuki as her personal tutor during lunch. This was because he had thought her as glutounous from how much she had ordered the day before and so she would be hesitant to immediately leave if she still had food. Maybe even twist their meeting from yesterday where he'd be the one who'd declare he was sitting with her.

Elsie was out as he had told her to investigate the Weiss' odd patterns. He didn't really believe she'd be able to get anything but it'd be best to have her out of the way anyways.

However, the current situation was a problem.

"Why is she with Mob A, Mob B, Mob C, and Mob D?" Keima's eye twitched as Itsuki sat herself with four other girls he didn't recognize from his class. They didn't look like strangers either as all fo them were comfortably chatting with each other.

He had thought she'd be by herself and immediately establish himself as her first and only ally and anchor.

But she seemed to be chatting with the other mob girls rather easily.

What the hell was the real doing? A transfer student didn't make friends that fast unless it was the protagonist himself or at least the side charactes from her same class like the class rep.

Keima crossed his arms and internally weighed the risks. Should he still go with his plan if she wasn't as alone as he had thought she'd be? He had already made a first impression so this introduction could wait after class. Maybe, even end up as a surprise to catch her off guard? She already seemed interested (note: constantly annoyed) at him so would it really make that much difference?

Then again, when did mob girls even matter in a capture?

In fact, they could be used to reinforce his impression on her. Either way, he'd have to make sure she relied on him and not them.

Nodding to himself, the Capturing God began his conquest.

**LINE**

* * *

"Something wrong, Itsuki?"

Itsuki looked up from her lunch, a repeat of yesterday's only with fried chicken cuts instead of shrimp. The aromatic smell of her food still did nothing to distill the annoyance within her. And she knew the cause as she'd been distracted by him the whole morning, as well.

Her classmates all seemed used to it and so easily ignored the nuisance but Itsuki would admit that she couldn't say the same.

"It's nothing, Yotsuba. There's just a boy in my class that's been bothering me."

Next to her, a girl with butterfly ribbons frowned. "Is some creep appraching you? You should tell him off already. If you want I can-"

"No, it's fine Nino." Itsuki shook her head. If it was just that, it'd be easier. "I don't think he even knows I exist."

The girl accross's mouth curled mischieviously. "Ah, so it's that kind of problem then. My my..."

"No! It's not like that! Definitely not!" Itsuki made sure to deny her that route immediately. There was no way. "He's just...ugh."

"Itsuki?" Seeing the redhead actually have something that distracted her when there was food right in front of her was a sign on just how much of this person was on the girl's mind. The brunette with headphoens over her neck had to ask once more, "What's wrong?"

"It's..." Itsuki sighed again. For another day in a row, her mood for lunch was ruined. She wasn't sure if she should really go on a rant here but then again this was going to be her next few months. Maybe it'd be best to get it off her chest now?

Her eyes hardened as she nodded to herself. "The guy's name is Katsuragi Keima and all he does in class is-

"Do you have a problem, Nakano-san?"

Itusuki jerked in her seat in surprise. She knew that voice. With wide eyes, she looked up to see the person she had just mentioned standing by her table. Oddly enough, he wasn't holding a console in his hand.

She was still too dumbfounded to talk but it seemed Katsuragi Keima didn't care enough to wait for her to regain her bearings as he bore down his gaze on her. she swallowed, willing herself to speak up.

"K-Katasuragi-kun..."

"Whatever the case, I believe you have some things that belong to me. If we can meet after class so you can return them, that'd be preferable."

He turned to leave and Itsuki wanted to stop him to explain himself first but someone beat her to it.

"You're leaving already?"

Katsuragi actually stopped as he turned to Ichika who had spoken up, her head slightly cocked. He was silent as he stared back but Ichika wasn't deterred.

"If you're looking for a seat to eat, why don't you eat with us."

Her words got the brown haired boy to actually pause and, for a moment, it almost felt like he was weighing in whether it was worth it to accept the offer or not.

Of course, Ichika's offer was met with mixed replies from the group. Nino bawked, clearly unwilling. Miku looked nervous, Yotsuba seemed the only one who didn't mind while Itsuki was still too tongue tied to speak up.

Eventually, he politely declined with a raised hand.

"Why not? Don't you want to eat surrounded by gorgeous girls?" From what she could gather, this was the boy that had been bothering Itsuki since perhaps even the day before.

Katsuragi's eyes briefly narrowed before he spoke up next. "Actually, my little sister made a bento for me andI don't want to leave her waiting. We share the same class with Nakano-san so you can ask her about it."

That actually got Ichika to pause before giving him an approving nod. "That's right, that's right. You shouldn't keep your little sister waiting."

She gave him a small whack on the back which Katsuragi took with a grimace. "Family's important after all. Ichika-neesan approves for now. Come to me, if you want help with Itsuki more."

To her surprise, the boy met her with a solid look in his eyes. "I'll make sure to take you up on that offer."

Without another word, he walked away and this time Ichika let him. As she watched his back grow smaller, she smiled to herself. She hadn't expected him to actually show interest but he did.

"This looks like it could be fun."

**LINE**

* * *

Like the day before, Keima sat by himself at the best wifi spot of the cafeteria. As he played his PFP, he also went by the previous event.

He had been able to confirm that the girl was still interested in him and was able to gain the interest of her group of friends. In fact, his main goal was to learn the structure of the group.

With the way she had spoken up for the rest followed by calling herself a "neesan", Keima could confirm that this Itsuki was the leader. For now, it seemed she was more interested on ihs effect on Itsuki which he could work with.

He could probably rely on her to give the two of them alone time and drag the others away. Headphones and Ribbon looked okay with it. His problem was the one with butterflies who was the only one who disagreed with him joining them.

He wasn't sure yet if her type disliked men or perhaps was protective or even in love with Itsuki herself, the yuribait so to speak. The clingy female best friend character was annoying but he's dealt with worse.

The last thing he needed was a love triangle. In his head, this group of friends did what he had wanted, supplanted her rich families value with themselves.

It meant he'd have to become more important to both her family and her friends.

Really, most heroines in games didn't have a posse of friends and if they did they were normally inconsequential unless those girls were also heroines.

He sighed to himself. Maybe, he was just overthinking things. Sometimes the developers just wanted more cute girls and so they'd add more portraits.

"Kami-niisama!"

He looked up to see Elsea approaching him...as well as someone else coming from the opposite direction. A girl with her ribbon tied like bunny ears, one he recognized from Nakano Itsuki's table.

Why was she approaching him? Was she just interested or... No matter, Heroines never actively approach the protagonist.

Something was up.

Immediately, Keima bolted towards Elsie who was wide eyed as he grabbed her by the collar and ran out fo the cafeteria.

"Elsie, make us invisible when I cut this next corner."

"Kami-niisama?!"

"Do it!"

"H-hai!"

Just as Keima turned, Elsie did so without question, wrapping them both in her Hageromono which made them invisible to the human eye as well as mute to the world outside.

And not a second later, an orange blur passed them. The girl was fast, maybe not Ayumi fast but she didn't look the slightest tired comapred to Keima who was breathing heavily.

After waiting in the robe for ten more minutes to make sure the coast was clear, Keima told Elsie to dispell it. She did so and then looked up at Keima, eyes wondering.

"Who was that Kami-niisama?"

"A trap, Elsie." Keima adjusted his glasses. "No good comes from interacting with friends of the target, especially those who aren't heroines. They're just meant to distract the player or provide brief exposition when the heroine runs away."

"A-anyways, Kami-niisama, look look! I muted it because it randomly kept ringing this morning but I've finally found out why thanks to Haqua-san!" And it was when Elsie pointed to her head that Keima finally noticed what he had overlooked when they had been running.

The spirit detector was going off.

Elsie looked up to him, clear nervousness in her eyes. "Haqua-san thought me how to follow the pattern of the Weiss and I've found it's somehow within the bodies of five girls."

The devil raised her Hageromono to show a top-view map of the school. At the center were five dots with one of them blinking for a moment before it stopped and another dot started to blink. There didn't seem to be a set pattern.

Keima's eyes widened slightly, immediately taking notice of the positions of the marked dots. "You're saying it's within the five of them?"

In the back of his head, he remembered how the Weiss Haqua failed to capture had been able to control not just Haqua but also numerous other students.

"Not exactly. Um, how did it go again?" Elsie tilted her head up as she tried to remember Haqua's explanation. "It's somehow in all of them yet not at the same time. It's main ody is definitely in one of them but everyone else is filled up with it that it's basically the same for all of them. Something like filling up an icetray?"

Keima nodded, immediately understanding what she meant. To fill up an icetray, one poured water on one depression. Once that was full, the excess water would move along and continue to fill up the other's until all them were filled. In the end, it didn't matter which was first, just that you had ice cubes in all of them.

Basically, even if he filled one gap, the runaway demon would still be able to use up the other gaps. Worse was that, if he did it one at a time, that meant that the pressure on the other parts would worsen. It existed in all of them simultaneously. The only way was to first remove the main body then fill in the gaps of the others.

The question though is who had it?

The Capturing God's eyes narrowed.

"Elsie, there has to be a reason for this, right? These girls couldn't just be a close group of friends could they?" For hearts to be this close to each other had to mean something. There should be a reason for the gaps in their hearts to be so interwoven, as if they all had agreed to share each others burdens, each others love, since the day they were born.

"Y-yes! It's actually quite amazing, Nii-sama!" With a wave, Elsie brought up the profiles of all five girls, the same faces Keima had seen sit at Nakano Itsuki earlier.

He had previously wondered how they had become so close and now he knew why as he read their names.

Nakano Ichika.

Nakano Nino.

Nakano Miku.

Nakano Yotsuba.

Sisters. They were all Nakano Itsuki's sisters but not just sisters but also,

"Q-quintuplets!?" Even God was surprised in seeing something like this in the real. It was one of those impossibilites that belonged in the ideal.

They all shared the same mother. They all shared the same age. They all shared the same face. And now they all shared the same Weiss.

Seeing the shock on her normally composed brother's face, Elsie started to grow worried. "W-what are we going to do, Nii-sama? Are we still going with this initial plan."

Already, Keima's mind was going in overdrive, going through his database of games to find an ending he could reach. Eventually, he realized the ending he had seen was still possible only that it was much further than he thought it'd be.

He grit his teeth as the mental counter in his mind of how fast the capture would go went up from two days, to one week, and continued up and up from there.

"The plan...will be the same." Keima readjusted his glasses as he glared at the five profiles before him. "However, it seems like this will take much longer than I had expected."

The Capturing God grit his teeth as he once again cursed the real. He should have known better! School wasn't paradise, it was the true hell which brought to him what looked to be his most difficult capture yet.

He only hoped it wouldn't cut into his gaming time too much even if, deep within, he already knew the truth to such an idealistic hope.

There were few moments when Katsuragi Keima would admit he was wrong. For once, he hoped with all his heart that he was.

* * *

**AN: So, an odd crossover but one that I found could actually work. Initially, I was thinking of making Mari actually related to Rena or even their original father but decided against it. Papa Nakano looks badass enough that he'd hang with teenage delinquent Mari.**

**I wanted to introduce all the quints but in the end held back so things can divert from QQ canon. Fuutarou chased Itsuki and here Keima had no need to and set his own pace with the invitation after class.**

**I've said before but QQ is always about the mystery so I had the who has the main body of the Weiss be the biggest question for now. It may be important to the actual main mystery in the future which I'm sure TWGOK fans can tell at this point if they look at the timeline and whose captures I'll be skipping to do these five.**


End file.
